Download PDF: [S] To Display Grief
Sayyidah Zainab – may Allah be pleased with her – narrates that she once visited Ummul Mo’mineen, Hadrat Sayyidah Zainab binte Jahash -may Allah be pleased with her. The reason that she visited was because Hadrat Sayyiduna Zainab – may Allah be pleased with her – had lost her brother.
When she reached there Hadrat Sayyidah Ummul Mo’mineen – may Allah be pleased with her – asked for some fragrance. She stated, “By Allah! I have no need for this fragrance, however I heard the Holy Prophet – may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him – declare while he was on the Mimbar Shareef that, ‘That female who believes in Allah and the Last Day, it is not permissible to (display) grieve for any Mayyit (deceased) person for more than three days. Yes, for her husband, she may (display) grief for four months and ten days.” (Bukhari Shareef)
When we say that we have love and reverence for the Holy Prophet – may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him – this should not be mere words. We have to try and live according to his teachings and advice. If a person claims to have love and reverence for the Holy Prophet – may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him – and does things against his command, then his claim is merely an outward show of respect.
The great Muslims of the past used to make sure that they also followed his advice and practise upon what he had mentioned. The above mentioned incident is a clear example of this.
We should also strive to live in this fashion and this becomes a means of great salvation in both the worlds.
The most important thing is for a Muslim to achieve the pleasure of the Holy Prophet – may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him. This is the reason that A’la Hadrat Imam Ahmed Raza – may Allah be pleased with him – has stated that, “The Prophet has always sought the Divine Pleasure of Allah Almighty and the Divine Creator has always sought the pleasure of His Prophet – may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him.”
It must also be understood that to display sadness is something else and to feel this sadness is something else. In the above Hadith Shareef, the prohibition is on displaying grief and sadness because this is within the control of people. It does not restrict a person from possessing grief and sadness. The reason is that this is not within the control and power of people. This is the reason that after three days of sadness or grief at the death of anyone except the husband, a lady is not allowed to keep her hair in an untidy fashion, stop eating, stop lighting a fire to cook food or stop sweeping her house. All these things are not allowed when the three days have passed. However, if a female has sadness but does not physically displays this, then this is permissible.
Allah Almighty give the Muslims the strength to keep in control what the Shari’ah expects of them. Ameen.