Download PDF: Refrain from Displaying Grief

Sayyidah Zainab Radi Allahu ‘Anha narrates that she once visited Ummul Mo’mineen, Sayyidah Zainab binte Jahash Radi Allahu ‘Anha because Hadrat Sayyiduna Zainab Radi Allahu ‘Anha had lost her brother.


Nonetheless, when she arrived, Sayyidah Ummul Mo’mineen Radi Allahu ‘Anha asked for some fragrance. She said, “By Allah azza wajal! I have no need for this fragrance, however I heard the Noble Messenger of Allah Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam declare while he was on the Mimbar Shareef that, ‘That female who believes in Allah azza wajal and the Last Day, it is not permissible to (display) grief for any Mayyit (deceased) person for more than three days. Yes, for her husband, she may (display) grief for four months and ten days.’” (Bukhari Shareef)




When we say that we have love and reverence for the Noble Messenger of Allah Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam, this should not be mere words. We have to try and live according to his teachings and advice. If a person claims to have love and reverence for the Noble Messenger of Allah Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam and does things against his command, then his claim is just an outward show of respect.


The great Muslims of the past used to make sure that they also followed the Noble Messenger of Allah’s Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam advice and practise upon what he had mentioned. The above mentioned incident is a clear example of this. We should also strive to live in this fashion and this becomes a means of great salvation in both the worlds.


The most important thing is for a Muslim to achieve the pleasure of the Noble Messenger of Allah Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam. This is the why A’la Hadrat Imam Ahmed Raza Radi Allahu ‘Anhu said, “The Prophet has always sought the Divine Pleasure of the Allah azza wajal and the Divine Creator has always sought the pleasure of His Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam.”


It must also be understood that to display sadness is something else and to feel this sadness is something else. In the above Hadith Shareef, the prohibition is on displaying grief and sadness because this is within the control of people. It does not restrict a person from possessing grief and sadness. The reason is that this is not within the control and power of people. This is the reason that after three days of sadness or grief at the death of anyone except the husband, a lady is not allowed to keep her hair in an untidy fashion, stop eating, stop lighting a fire to cook food or stop sweeping her house. All these things are not allowed when the three days have passed. However, if a female has sadness but does not physically displays this, then this is permissible.


Allah azza wajal gives the Muslims the strength to keep in control what the Shari’ah expects of them. Aameen.