The reward for displaying patience at the passing of one’s child!
عَنْ اَبِی زَیْدٍ أُسَامَۃَ بْنِ زَیْدِ بْنِ حَارِثَۃَ مَوْلَی رَسُوْلِ اللہِ صَلّٰی اللہُ عَلَیْہِ وَسَلَّم وَحِبِّہِ وَابْنِ حِبِّہٖ رَضِیَ اللہُ عَنْہُمَا، قَالَ أَرْسَلَتْ بِنْتُ النَّبِیِّ صَلَّی اللہُ عَلَیْہِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ ابْنِیْ قَدِ احْتُضِرَ فَاشْھَدْنَا فَأَرْسَلَ یُقْرِیئُ السَّلَامَ وَیَقُولُ: إِنَّ لِلّٰہِ مَا أَخَذَ وَلَہُ مَا أَعْطَی وَکُلُّ شَیْیئٍ عِنْدَہُ بِأَجَلٍ مُسَمًّی فَلْتَصْبِرْ وَلْتَحْتَسِبْ فَأَرْسَلَتْ إِلَیْہِ تُقْسِمُ عَلَیْہِ لَیَأْتِیَنَّہَا فَقَامَ وَمَعَہُ سَعْدُ بْنُ عُبَادَۃَ، وَمَعَاذُ بْنُ جَبَلٍ، وَأُبَیُّ بْنُ کَعْبٍ وَزَیْدُ بْنُ ثَابِتٍ وَرِجَالٌ رَضِیَ اللہُ عَنْہُمْ فَرُفِعَ إِلٰی رَسُوْلِ اللہِ صَلَّی اللہُ عَلَیْہِ وَسَلَّمَ الصَّبِیُّ فَاَقْعَدَہُ فِیْ حِجْرِہٖ وَنَفْسُہُ تَتَقَعْقَعُ فَفَاضَتْ عَیْنَاہُ فَقَالَ سَعْدٌ یَا رَسُوْلَ اللہِ مَا ہَذَا فَقَالَ ہَذِہٖ رَحْمَۃٌ جَعَلَہَا اللہُ فِی قُلُوْبِ عِبَادِہٖ وَ فِی رِوَایَۃٍ ’’فِی قُلُوبِ مَنْ شَائَ مِنْ عِبَادِہٖ ‘‘وَإِنَّمَا یَرْحَمُ اللہُ مِنْ عِبَادِہِ الرُّحَمَائَ۔ مُتَّفَقٌ عَلَیْہ
(بخاری ،کتاب الجنائز، باب قول النبی ، یعذب المیت ببعض بکاء اہلہ، ۱/۴۳۴، حدیث:۱۲۸۴)
The beloved freed slave of the Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam who is also the son of the beloved slave of the Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam, namely Hadrat Sayyiduna Osama bin Zaid Radi Allahu ‘Anhuma, narrates that:
“Once a daughter of the Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam send him a message that her child was about to pass away and that he should come. The Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam after sending Salaam, replied that, ‘What belonged to Allah azza wa jall, He has taken it back and it belongs to Him whatever He has given and for everyone, there is an allocated time. Therefore, a person should have patience and consider this as a means of Thawaab, (reward).’ His daughter swore on these words (thereafter) and that he should come.
“The Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam then stood up and the people who accompanied him were Sa’ad bin Ubaadah, Ma’az bin Jabal, Ubay bin Ka’ab and Zaid bin Thaabit Radi Allahu ‘Anhum. The small child was brought to the Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam and it was in the final moments of its life. The Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam then began to weep softly and tears began to flow. Hadrat Sayyiduna Sa’ad Radi Allahu ‘Anhu asked, ‘O Prophet of Allah! What is this?’ He replied, ‘This is mercy of the heart which Allah azza wa jall places in the heart of people.’ In another narration it is mentioned, ‘He places it in the hearts of those servants of His whomsoever He wishes.’ And the Allah shows Mercy on those who show mercy (to others).” (Bukhari Shareef)
Allama ibn Hajr Asqalani Alaihir Rahmah explains, “When Allah azza wa jall wishes to take something away from a slave, then it is that which Allah azza wa jall Himself who has given this in the first place. In other words, Allah azza wa jall has taken away something which belongs to Him. Hence, there is no reason for a slave to display impatience, extreme sadness and start to complain. It is the same as if someone has given you to keep a certain thing as a trust and when he wishes you to return this, you cannot start to cry and wail.” (Fathul Bari)
A most Merciful Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam
It is reported that the beloved daughter in this incident was Sayyidah Zainab Radi Allahu ‘Anha and the name of the child was Ali bin Abul Aas Radi Allahu ‘Anhu. (Fathul Bari)
When the Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam saw the condition of his young grandson tears began to flow from his eyes. This surprised everyone who were present including Hadrat Sayyiduna Sa’ad bin Ubaadah Radi Allahu ‘Anhu. The simple reason for this surprise was that they had seen the extreme steadfastness and extreme bravery of the Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam during the Battle of Uhud when Muslims were under the impression that today they were going to be slaughtered. They had seen his steadfastness and bravery during the Battle of the Trench where the Qur’an describes the environment as if the hearts of people reached their throats, and in all of these circumstances, the Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam stood like a mountain, unwavering and unshaken. And today, this same Prophet is shedding tears for a little child. The Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam was merely indicating to his beloved companions that this show of grief was a natural act and which came naturally to a creation. He was also showing people around him that if they showed mercy and sympathy for others, Allah azza wa jall would show Mercy for them. (Nuzhatul Qari)
A prostitute was forgiven for showing mercy to a dog!
It is reported that a prostitute was forgiven by Allah azza wa jall simply because she had given water to a thirsty dog who was near a well which it could not retrieve by itself. (Bukhari Shareef)
The Thawaab when one loses a child!
The Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam has stated that, “A Muslim who loses three children, the fire of Hell will not touch him but only for so long so that the Divine Decree of Allah azza wa jall is fulfilled. (Muslim Shareef)
In Surah Maryam, verse 71, the Qur’an declares that, “There is not one of you who may not pass over Hell this is necessarily a decided thing for your Lord”.
Therefore, the implication of this is that the Fire of Hell would touch a person a little but he will not feel the effects of this heat. (Sharah Muslim by Imam Nawawi)
A solid wall, (or defence) against the Fire of Hell
Once a lady approached the Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam with a little baby. She then informed him, “O Prophet of Allah! Please make Du’a for me because I have buried three children.” The Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam asked her, “Have you really buried three children?” She replied that she had indeed done so. The Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam declared, “You have certainly established a strong wall against the Fire of Hell”. (Muslim Shareef)
To display patience on the death of a child
The Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam has stated that, “If a Muslim couple loses three children, Allah azza wa jall, as a show of Mercy for these children, would allow this couple to enter Jannah.” The blessed companions asked, “If there were two children?” He replied, “Even if there were two children.” They again asked if there was only one child. The Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam replied, “Even if there was only one child. I swear by that Divine Being in Whose Power is my life, that female whose child has died prematurely (or the pregnancy was lost), and this female displays patience, that child will hold its mother by the umbilical cord and drag its mother to Jannah”. (Musnad Imam Ahmed)
The Holy Prophet Sallal Laahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam has stated that, “In my Ummah whosoever has lost two children, Allah azza wa jall will allow them to enter through (these children).” Ummul Mo’mineen, Sayyidah Ayesha Radi Allahu ‘Anha asked, “And if only child had gone forward?” He replied, “Even that one child will represent them.” He was then asked, “From your Ummah, if there is no one who has gone forward to represent them?” He replied, “For them, I will be their representative and they will never find a representative like me.” (Tirmidi Shareef)
Important points to bear in mind
- It is recommended to call forward pious people when one is close to death for the sake of Barakah and for making Du’a.
- One should advise the close family to have patience and give thanks to Allah azza wa jall.
- If one’s eyes is filled with tears at this sensitive moment, it is a natural reaction and Shari’ah has not prohibited this.
- Those who show mercy and kindness to others, Allah azza wa jall in return will show mercy and kindness to him.